The Cold Cut

That's it. I've had it with this pretentious magazine, picking up a band in their conception and then dumping them when they don't produce the album of the decade.

Everyone needs to know about the harsh game that this magazine has been playing for many years now. Considering NME has one of the best up and coming band sections, good interviews and some other nice features, their only fault lies in their character, and vapid sarcasm. Without a doubt, NME is the most pretentious/facetious publication I have ever read; reading their '3 out of 10' reviews, I can just imagine the writers turning up their nose and sniggering like children. Its not funny, and its not mature. Given that myself, a 17 year old kid, probably has more honour and maturity than your whole magazine put together, now is about the time to clear up your act, before 'Morrissey' incidents become commonplace.

The album that has caused me to snap in such a way is Guillemots 'Red', coming out on 24th March. After praising 'Kriss Kross', the first single, NME gifted this stunning album a paltry 4 out of 10, stating 'If only Guillemots main man Fyfe Dangerfield hadn’t woken up one bright morning believing he could be indie’s Timbaland, this could have been a half-decent return.' Once again NME, you've completely missed the point. And you are alone in this endeavor... all the other reviews (see here and here) I've read state that 'Red' is the pop album of 2008. I will be able to put this matter to rest when I review the album... Oh, and on that point, an album review isn't about who can fit the largest amount of 'literally' advanced words into a paragraph, its about telling people what the album is actually about. Maybe you should take a note out of Q's book, who write content heavy reviews, giving you an actual feel for the album rather than a lyrically bloated and metaphorical look at the inner orchestrations of the album. Take this NME review of an Arctic Monkeys gig:

"By the time ‘This House Is A Circus’s manic skat-rap is bursting from Turner’s lips, there are bouncers peeling the Old Trafford crowd from the clouds. As the Monkeys rattle into ‘Teddy Picker’ they aren’t wrestling this gig from the brink, they’re stitching concrete wings to its back and sending it soaring to God to brag. ‘Mardy Bum’ and ‘Fake Tales Of San Fransisco’ are sung like the Lord’s Prayer by the hoards clamouring at St Peter’s gates."

Bullshit... a total waste of my time. Can anyone actually glean anything worthwhile from this passage?

I have nothing against this magazine as an institution, rather the writers who seem sucked into a vicious circle of helping bands to become massive and then pulling the rug out from under them. I firmly believe that this magazine is so far ahead of the curve that its almost unfair, yet I find myself pitying the bands who appear in their 'Radar' section, knowing deep down inside that in a mere ten months or so they will no doubt be taking a massive fall from grace. If any of you feel the same way, please leave a note. If would drive me insane if I knew I'm the only who feels like this.

Guillemots- Get Over It

NB- Not anywhere as good as Kriss Kross, but its a grower. Repeated listens have the desired effect!